9.4 - Shrewd as Snakes

“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." - Jesus (Matthew 10:16 NIV)

(This is part of the Oasis series—reflections on what I found helpful when dealing with the grief and pain of divorce.)

A muddy-brown and onyx-black spotted snake coiled around my neck and torso. Thick as two baseball bats and stretching at least a few meters long, it tightened ever so slightly. As my senses fired up one by one, I knew that this was no ordinary dream.

I could feel the snake’s cool skin pressing against mine. The air smelled damp and stale, like rainwater left sitting for too long in one place. It was dead silent, as if I was in a vacuum. I couldn’t even hear myself breathing. Was I holding my breath? Suffocating? I could taste the salt from sweat dripping down my face.

And strangely, I saw myself from outside my own body, like I was both the captive and the observer. I stood in a space that had no concept of an entrance or an exit, no walls or rooms, no beginning or end - just endless emptiness in every direction. Only the snake and I stood in stark contrast against this dark background.

As time passed, I felt the snake slowly squeeze tighter and tighter. My arms, chest, and legs - pinned and immobile. Yet, I wasn’t choking. What was this snake doing? Nonetheless, I panicked because I thought it was trying to kill me. And after a few minutes of my nervous system screaming that I needed to do something before it was too late, I woke and sat straight up, covered in sweat, just like in the dream.

I talked extensively about this surreal experience with my therapist at the time, trying to make sense of it. How could I still breathe with the snake gripping me ever so tightly? What was it trying to do if not kill me? What did the snake itself represent?

I’ve had a handful of terrifying supernatural experiences before, encounters with things that felt like pure malice, so my first thought assumed the worst: this was evil incarnate looking to mess with me during an emotionally vulnerable time.

My therapist offered a different, unexpected interpretation, pointing to Scripture:

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. (Matthew 10:16 NIV)

Context for those who aren’t familiar with this verse: Jesus is sending out his twelve apostles with a mission to proclaim the news of his death, resurrection, and teachings to the world. Early Christians at this time didn’t exactly enjoy freedom of religion - persecution by the Jews and the Romans was common (hence the “sheep among wolves” verbiage). So Jesus warns his followers to be wise like the serpent as they embark on their task, while maintaining their innocence and openness like the dove in their ministry.

Personally, I never gave a second thought to this verse when I read the Bible. I think it’s because the part about being like a snake seemed so bizarre and foreign to me. After all, according to the Bible, wasn’t it the serpent (Satan) who tempted humans (Adam and Eve), which led to sin and humanity’s downfall?

I think where I erred is equating the creature and its characteristics (shrewd and cunning, wise) to evil/Satan. Anyway, we discussed the possibility that the snake in my dream wasn’t trying to strangle me. Instead, maybe it was trying to incorporate itself into my being. Perhaps it was my body, my psyche, indicating to me that it was ready to gain some shrewdness and wisdom about love and relationships.

It’s now March 2025, nearly 18 months after I had this dream, and the more I reflect on it, the more I see its truth. In my past romantic relationships, I’ve fallen in love hard and fast. I loved freely, openly, and instinctively. Now, I’m certainly not criticizing my younger self for diving right in, but for the future? I’ll slow down. I’ll force myself to be pickier about the green/red flags to look for. I’ll ask myself - who is actually worthy of the love I can offer?

Some might call this selfishness, caution, fear, cynicism, or jadedness instead of shrewdness. And yeah, if I’m being honest, it’s probably a bit of all those things. At times, I feel an crushing weight on my soul - life’s challenges have snatched that lighter version of me away.

But shrewdness doesn’t mean closing yourself off. To me, it means having the ability to engage both the heart and the mind when it comes to relationships.

So, Reader, if you’ve gone through the ringer like I have, maybe it’s time for an adjustment. If I’m talking to the Leo who’s considering dating again, I’d say to him:

What if the next time you meet someone, you don’t rush to define what they mean to you? What if you don’t try to fit them into a version of a relationship that only exists in your head? What if, instead of getting lost in emotions, you listen, really listen, to what they’re showing you? In their words, their silence, their actions.

Try it on for size - shrewdness, that is. It just might fit.